Q: How was counterpoint invented?
A: Two guitarists were put in front of the same sheet music.
Q: How do you get a minor second?
A: You get two violists to attempt playing in unison.
Q: What do you call a guy who hangs out with musicians?
A: A drummer.
Q: What is the difference between a soprano and a Porsche?
A: Most musicians have never been in a Porsche.
Q: A 100-dollar bill is in the road. A violinist, a viola virtuoso and a double-bassist are on the sidewalk. Who picks up the dollar?
A: Nobody. A violinist won't travel for 100 dollars, the viola virtuoso doesn't exist, and the double-bassist hasn't figured out what is going on.
Q: What's the difference between a soprano and a piranha?
A: Lipstick.
Q: How do you know if the stage is level?
A: The drummer is drooling on both sides on his mouth.
Q: What's the first thing a musician says at work?
A: "Would you like fries with that?"
Q: What do you call a musician without a significant other?
A: Homeless.
Q: What is the definition of an opera?
A: It's the love story between a tenor and a soprano that is nearly thwarted by the evil baritone.
Q: How many bassists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Only one, but the guitarist has to show him how it's done first.
Q: How was atonal music invented?
A: Two violists were trying to play the same scale.
Q: What's the difference between an alto and a tenor?
A: A tenor doesn't have hair on his back.
Q: What is the definition of a male vocal quartet?
A: Three men and a tenor.
Q: What do you call a beautiful woman on a banjo player's arm?
A: A tattoo.
Q: In the 22nd century, how many guitar players will you need to replace a light source?
A: Five. One to actually do it, and four to reminisce about how much better the old tubes were.
Q: Why do bagpipe players walk around when they play?
A: So that they can get away from the noise.
Q: What is the most unnecessary blues song?
A: "I woke up this morning, and my wife was home".
Q: How do you make a million dollars as a jazz singer?
A: You start with two million.
Q: What happens when you play blues backwards?
A: Your wife returns to you, your dog comes back to life, and you get out of prison.
A: Two guitarists were put in front of the same sheet music.
Q: How do you get a minor second?
A: You get two violists to attempt playing in unison.
Q: What do you call a guy who hangs out with musicians?
A: A drummer.
Q: What is the difference between a soprano and a Porsche?
A: Most musicians have never been in a Porsche.
Q: A 100-dollar bill is in the road. A violinist, a viola virtuoso and a double-bassist are on the sidewalk. Who picks up the dollar?
A: Nobody. A violinist won't travel for 100 dollars, the viola virtuoso doesn't exist, and the double-bassist hasn't figured out what is going on.
Q: What's the difference between a soprano and a piranha?
A: Lipstick.
Q: How do you know if the stage is level?
A: The drummer is drooling on both sides on his mouth.
Q: What's the first thing a musician says at work?
A: "Would you like fries with that?"
Q: What do you call a musician without a significant other?
A: Homeless.
Q: What is the definition of an opera?
A: It's the love story between a tenor and a soprano that is nearly thwarted by the evil baritone.
Q: How many bassists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Only one, but the guitarist has to show him how it's done first.
Q: How was atonal music invented?
A: Two violists were trying to play the same scale.
Q: What's the difference between an alto and a tenor?
A: A tenor doesn't have hair on his back.
Q: What is the definition of a male vocal quartet?
A: Three men and a tenor.
Q: What do you call a beautiful woman on a banjo player's arm?
A: A tattoo.
Q: In the 22nd century, how many guitar players will you need to replace a light source?
A: Five. One to actually do it, and four to reminisce about how much better the old tubes were.
Q: Why do bagpipe players walk around when they play?
A: So that they can get away from the noise.
Q: What is the most unnecessary blues song?
A: "I woke up this morning, and my wife was home".
Q: How do you make a million dollars as a jazz singer?
A: You start with two million.
Q: What happens when you play blues backwards?
A: Your wife returns to you, your dog comes back to life, and you get out of prison.