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Genesis Ascendant - Printable Version +- Music Talk Board (https://www.musictalkboard.com) +-- Forum: Music Discussion (https://www.musictalkboard.com/forum-15.html) +--- Forum: Lyrics and Songwriting (https://www.musictalkboard.com/forum-47.html) +--- Thread: Genesis Ascendant (/thread-267.html) |
Genesis Ascendant - crazysam23 - 06-17-2013 In the spirit of actually using this subforum (and because I am actually trying to find opinions on this), here's a song I'm writing. It is mostly done, I've been revising it for quite a while now (several years actually). The only thing to finish is Verse 4, but I feel confident enough in the rest of it to ask for opinions. The song is sort of religious in nature (but also philosophical); verse 3 (and the soon-to-be verse 4) focus on self-improvement. So... ![]() Verse 1: Burn into my spirit, sear into my soul Blow me away, I say Sweep me up like a tornado You set me down on a solid, weathered rock My only fear and reason Chorus: Genesis ascendant Master of the universe The only omnipotent being Genesis ascendant Dire but fair, master of the universe Verse 2: Your words strike like lightning Shatter me right now Your voice is blazing thunder None ever saw you and remained the same My only fear and reason (Chorus) Verse 3: Looking into myself for vice Breaking down the causes of decay Slowly ending my internal strife Seeking the incomprehensible tranquility I'm the powerslave; command me now (Chorus) Verse 4: Brothers, hear my words, listen ardently Follow the Law, the integral sum Learn well writs in the Teaching The way to life and your maxim Surrender my will, take up freedom (Chorus) Bridge: Entreat and commune in your name The smoke of burnt incense rises Heaven's come to earth Heaven's come to earth (Oh...) Verse 5: Master of mine, guide me now I want to know my destiny Mysterious Master, surround -- holy and wise eternally Surrender my will, take up freedom Command me now, here and evermore RE: Genesis Ascendant - Le7els - 09-10-2013 Very well done in my opinion. The bridge defiantly turns it from good to great. Great job ![]() RE: Genesis Ascendant - crazysam23 - 09-10-2013 Thanks! ![]() Anything you think I should improve? RE: Genesis Ascendant - crazysam23 - 10-17-2013 Added a new verse (Verse 4). So, I'd say the song is now in its final draft. RE: Genesis Ascendant - wwf - 10-17-2013 what exactly is an integral sum? lol RE: Genesis Ascendant - Grungie - 10-17-2013 It's when the sum of two functions that equals the sum of their integrals RE: Genesis Ascendant - crazysam23 - 10-17-2013 (10-17-2013, 06:33 AM)wwf Wrote: what exactly is an integral sum? lollol, in context of the song, it basically means "the sum of the whole" or "complete picture". I always try to work in a few words in my lyrics that aren't commonly heard 'on the street'. ![]() |