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RE: 2 pɐǝɹɥʇ ʎʇıunɯɯoɔ - JCizzle - 03-26-2014

Ahh, computer science. How delightfully deceived I was when I expected to enjoy it.

(03-26-2014, 05:18 PM)crazysam23 Wrote: Besides, Danjo...don't you want someone who is worth your time? Half the guys who always have girlfriends also always are breaking up with them and moving on to another one. They also have to worry about STDs (despite the fact that none of them really do). Imho, it's worth sticking it out for someone who will be there through thick and thin. Just treat her right, huh?
And then comes the one you're absolutely 100% certain will always be there for you (considering she promised you she would), then one day, overnight, for no discernible reason, completely flips, turns into someone entirely different, pushes you away and screws you up royally to the point you're still fucked up after two years.

Then people wonder why I don't want to be in a relationship (though to be fair, the person in question here was never a romantic partner).

(03-26-2014, 07:24 PM)Danjo Wrote: Yeah, thats what I usually end up concluding. At the end of the day the reason I don't try is because I just don't know any girls that I would actually like to have a relationship with. Also I'm always busy with school so a relationship would probably kill me or my grades.
This too. I'm also extremely artistically ambitious and having a girlfriend could either really help me or really weigh me down.

Pragmatism (amongst other factors) tells me to stay single. Gotta be noble to all the ladies, right?

that's not a euphemism


RE: 2 pɐǝɹɥʇ ʎʇıunɯɯoɔ - crazysam23 - 03-26-2014

(03-26-2014, 09:45 PM)Grungie Wrote: Tbh I think he just wants to do everything himself, under the guise of claiming it's more efficient. Everytime there's some kind of discussion in regards to programs or running something on a computer, he's always boasting about how he's planning on making his own version, because it's "more efficient".
I never understood why people can't just admit "I want to do it myself". Instead, they come up with bullshit reasons.

(03-26-2014, 11:01 PM)JoelCarli Wrote: Ahh, computer science. How delightfully deceived I was when I expected to enjoy it.

(03-26-2014, 05:18 PM)crazysam23 Wrote: Besides, Danjo...don't you want someone who is worth your time? Half the guys who always have girlfriends also always are breaking up with them and moving on to another one. They also have to worry about STDs (despite the fact that none of them really do). Imho, it's worth sticking it out for someone who will be there through thick and thin. Just treat her right, huh?
And then comes the one you're absolutely 100% certain will always be there for you (considering she promised you she would), then one day, overnight, for no discernible reason, completely flips, turns into someone entirely different, pushes you away and screws you up royally to the point you're still fucked up after two years.

Then people wonder why I don't want to be in a relationship (though to be fair, the person in question here was never a romantic partner).
Well, we've all had situations where someone of the opposite sex fucked us over. Though, yours seems like one of the worse instances of that. Sad

Nonetheless, speaking from my own life, if I had just given up after things didn't work out with previous women...well, I wouldn't be engaged now. Eventually, things fade, and you learn to remember the good times. The pain doesn't seem so bad anymore. It sucks while you're dealing with the pain, but we humans are pretty resilient.

Funny thing is, if you stop searching for "the one", they just sort of seem to show up at the right time and in the right place. As lame as that sounds, lol.

(03-26-2014, 11:01 PM)JoelCarli Wrote:
(03-26-2014, 07:24 PM)Danjo Wrote: Yeah, thats what I usually end up concluding. At the end of the day the reason I don't try is because I just don't know any girls that I would actually like to have a relationship with. Also I'm always busy with school so a relationship would probably kill me or my grades.
This too. I'm also extremely artistically ambitious and having a girlfriend could either really help me or really weigh me down.

Pragmatism (amongst other factors) tells me to stay single. Gotta be noble to all the ladies, right?

that's not a euphemism
Frankly, the one of the reasons my relationship with my fiancee has been so successful is because we don't go to the same school. (She actually works, anyway; instead of going to school.) If she and I went to the same school, then there'd be a lot more distraction times for me. And that would fuck up my grades.

See, I only see her on the weekends. Which gives me all week to do homework and actually graduate here. lol


RE: 2 pɐǝɹɥʇ ʎʇıunɯɯoɔ - Grungie - 03-27-2014

Idk if I should be insulted for find it humorous when my dad walked by my room, heard my music and said "your room sounds like an 80's college dorm" because I was listening to old REM, Dinosaur Jr, and Husker Du...


RE: 2 pɐǝɹɥʇ ʎʇıunɯɯoɔ - Danjo - 03-27-2014

I've gotten comments something like that before, haha.

And Sam, the school I'm at is really small, and we mostly try to avoid the townies, so I haven't got much choice. Not that theres much of a choice of girls at my school anyway, haha.

But yeah, I agree that its better that way. Spending way too much time together is definitely taxing on a relationship. You have to be your own person, otherwise you run out of stuff to contribute.


RE: 2 pɐǝɹɥʇ ʎʇıunɯɯoɔ - JCizzle - 03-27-2014

(03-26-2014, 11:14 PM)crazysam23 Wrote: Well, we've all had situations where someone of the opposite sex fucked us over. Though, yours seems like one of the worse instances of that. Sad
Thanks. School has really distracted me from it though, and at least now I've finally gotten clarification and a truce. It's not quite enough to make up for it all and I'm still quite messed up, but whatcha gonna do.

(03-26-2014, 11:14 PM)crazysam23 Wrote: Nonetheless, speaking from my own life, if I had just given up after things didn't work out with previous women...well, I wouldn't be engaged now. Eventually, things fade, and you learn to remember the good times. The pain doesn't seem so bad anymore. It sucks while you're dealing with the pain, but we humans are pretty resilient.

Funny thing is, if you stop searching for "the one", they just sort of seem to show up at the right time and in the right place. As lame as that sounds, lol.
I've stopped believing in the plausibility of "the one" or "soul mates", as much as I wish I still did. The general mentality nowadays is really shallow regarding love, imho (I think most people see it as a temporary commodity that can make them happy rather than an opportunity to make someone else happy), and the sexual revolution pretty much ultimately screwed up society from a romantic standpoint (not that it didn't bring some good things, but it's comparable to Nazi Germany being responsible for Fanta and Volkswagen). This is a major reason I've stopped caring about and am even actively avoiding that sort of relationship (amongst other reasons), as there's really no point in searching for love like that unless you specifically want to continue your biological lineage.

Heck, I'm writing an essay (on my own time) on romanticism/soul mates and why I don't believe in them, as much as I wish I did. In this case, I'm like the staunch atheist who has actively searched for religion for many years to no avail. I ought to post it here when I'm done.

(03-26-2014, 11:14 PM)crazysam23 Wrote: Frankly, the one of the reasons my relationship with my fiancee has been so successful is because we don't go to the same school. (She actually works, anyway; instead of going to school.) If she and I went to the same school, then there'd be a lot more distraction times for me. And that would fuck up my grades.

See, I only see her on the weekends. Which gives me all week to do homework and actually graduate here. lol
Yeah, a few people here are like that too. Like one of my colleagues who is also a resident gets a visit from her boyfriend every couple weeks.

(03-27-2014, 12:33 AM)Grungie Wrote: Idk if I should be insulted for find it humorous when my dad walked by my room, heard my music and said "your room sounds like an 80's college dorm" because I was listening to old REM, Dinosaur Jr, and Husker Du...
One of these days, Grungie, we need to go to the cabaret to headbang to some country music.


RE: 2 pɐǝɹɥʇ ʎʇıunɯɯoɔ - Danjo - 03-27-2014

Yeah, I also no longer believe in "the one". I think there are probably many people I could live with, and none of them will be perfect. Mostly I'm waiting for someone who actually meets my standards.


RE: 2 pɐǝɹɥʇ ʎʇıunɯɯoɔ - crazysam23 - 03-27-2014

(03-27-2014, 01:44 AM)JoelCarli Wrote: I've stopped believing in the plausibility of "the one" or "soul mates", as much as I wish I still did.
I was mostly using that phrase to regard someone you'd consider marrying.

Quote:The general mentality nowadays is really shallow regarding love, imho (I think most people see it as a temporary commodity that can make them happy rather than an opportunity to make someone else happy), and the sexual revolution pretty much ultimately screwed up society from a romantic standpoint (not that it didn't bring some good things, but it's comparable to Nazi Germany being responsible for Fanta and Volkswagen). This is a major reason I've stopped caring about and am even actively avoiding that sort of relationship (amongst other reasons), as there's really no point in searching for love like that unless you specifically want to continue your biological lineage.
Most of that is true. BUT don't let yourself get too jaded by your experiences and the loose way people treat love. I've found that a lot of people grow out of treating love that way. There's always a rare few who never treat love that way, too.

And the really loving people -- the ones you want to keep around, so to speak (romantic or platonic or even family) -- will never treat you that way. Of course, everyone changes. The key is working at it to keep going (romantically or in a platonic sense), despite the changes. And that takes effort on the part of both people. If the other person isn't willing to extend that effort, well...you did your part...Confusedhrug:
Just try not to let your past experiences keep you from future happiness. Easier said than done, right? But you'll be happier in the long run if you can learn to do that.


RE: 2 pɐǝɹɥʇ ʎʇıunɯɯoɔ - carlcockatoo - 03-27-2014

I don't believe in soul mates but I believe in 'the one' (idgaf). 8)

Not in the sappy romantic-comedy film way though, I just think any of those millions of potential partners qualify.


RE: 2 pɐǝɹɥʇ ʎʇıunɯɯoɔ - Grungie - 03-27-2014

(03-27-2014, 01:44 AM)JoelCarli Wrote: One of these days, Grungie, we need to go to the cabaret to headbang to some country music.

Come down to Georgia, tons of country places. Also not far from here is Athens, hometown of REM.


RE: 2 pɐǝɹɥʇ ʎʇıunɯɯoɔ - JCizzle - 03-27-2014

(03-27-2014, 01:58 AM)crazysam23 Wrote: I was mostly using that phrase to regard someone you'd consider marrying.
Mhm, I assumed that's likely what you meant after I posted.

Still, I feel that, because I don't believe in soul mates, relationships are ultimately empty and don't objectively or inherently "mean" anything. Which is really depressing when you think about it. Love comes in small doses and is ephemeral. Love nihilism, so to speak. Yes, it might happen that you find love that lasts, but that's just sheer luck with some external factors. I doubt even a mother can consistently love her child after he or she spits in her face enough times. I sure as hell have endured a lot of crap and have lost the ability to give a shit about the other person, whom I once thought I loved unconditionally.

And concepts like "compassion" and "empathy" are not "love", as far as I can tell. I still don't get why people call them love, when they're compassion and empathy. Yes, they are definitely important, perhaps two of the most important aspects to humanity, but when I donate to the blood drive, I most often don't/can't love the person I'm donating to, clearly, because I most likely don't even know them. I do it out of compassion and moral duty, because I should. Then there's also the cynicism that comes into the picture.

(03-27-2014, 01:58 AM)crazysam23 Wrote: Most of that is true. BUT don't let yourself get too jaded by your experiences and the loose way people treat love. I've found that a lot of people grow out of treating love that way. There's always a rare few who never treat love that way, too.

And the really loving people -- the ones you want to keep around, so to speak (romantic or platonic or even family) -- will never treat you that way.
Of course. This is why, though, I mentioned a person you are 100% certain are legit and are for keeps, but then winds up becoming the greatest disappointment you've ever had. Not that I want to be a downer or despair-mongerer to anybody here, certainly not.

(03-27-2014, 01:58 AM)crazysam23 Wrote: Of course, everyone changes. The key is working at it to keep going (romantically or in a platonic sense), despite the changes. And that takes effort on the part of both people. If the other person isn't willing to extend that effort, well...you did your part...Confusedhrug:
Just try not to let your past experiences keep you from future happiness. Easier said than done, right? But you'll be happier in the long run if you can learn to do that.
Of course. I already didn't really care for a relationship before I was screwed over (by a platonic love, mind you), though, so it's not really a big deal that I don't want to have a significant other. If I could be this era's artistic and perhaps philosophical analogue to Tesla (hopefully minus the whole someone-rips-me-off-and-gets-all-the-credit part), I'd be OK with that. Glory over romance.

Heck, as weird as it sounds, I'm not sure I'd even want a sexual relationship with a significant other if I ever get one. Simply because of the way people treat love and sex, I sometimes feel that a sexual relationship with someone I love would somehow 'tarnish' my relationship with them, or, best-case scenario, equate them with everyone else I've ever slept with or been in a relationship in, even those I may currently hate (the "I" in this case refers to anybody, not me specifically. I've never had a girlfriend or sexual congress, nor do I like saying I "hate" anybody). Yeah. Go figure. Even I'm not sure I "get" my reasoning.

(03-27-2014, 02:41 AM)Grungie Wrote: Come down to Georgia, tons of country places. Also not far from here is Athens, hometown of REM.
But, Athens is in Greece and Georgia is the name of a strong, black, independent woman who don't need no man, tho

If ever I come down to Georgia, I'll be lookin' for a soul to steal.

(03-27-2014, 02:21 AM)carlcockatoo Wrote: I don't believe in soul mates but I believe in 'the one' (idgaf). 8)

Not in the sappy romantic-comedy film way though, I just think any of those millions of potential partners qualify.
In that vain, though, it's more like, "the hundreds".