Community Thread - Printable Version +- Music Talk Board (https://www.musictalkboard.com) +-- Forum: Off Topic (https://www.musictalkboard.com/forum-16.html) +--- Forum: General Discussion (https://www.musictalkboard.com/forum-30.html) +--- Thread: Community Thread (/thread-292.html) Pages:
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RE: 2 pÉÂÇÂɹɥʇ ʎʇıunɯɯoɆ- ln cognition - 02-09-2014 Don't be silly. All jews believe in Walmart. It's the one dream that keeps them going. Oh, causual malignant stereotyping. How I've missed you, MTB. Oh, casually terrible smilies. How I've missed you MTB. :heart: Also, the double-posting. RE: 2 pÉÂÇÂɹɥʇ ʎʇıunɯɯoɆ- Grungie - 02-09-2014 This is why MTB is win RE: 2 pÉÂÇÂɹɥʇ ʎʇıunɯɯoɆ- JCizzle - 02-09-2014 What would Jesus do? Post on MTB, of course. RE: 2 pÉÂÇÂɹɥʇ ʎʇıunɯɯoɆ- ln cognition - 02-09-2014 (02-09-2014, 09:44 PM)JoelCarli Wrote: What would Jesus do?After shopping for ridiculously low prices at walmart. Btw, is there anything anywhere on the internet which replaces Jesus in bible-scenes with jewish stereotypes? Because I'd feel terrible for it, but I think it might amuse me with how awful that be. Something like "Let the man without sin cast the first rock. Seriously. Do you guys think rocks grow on trees? Someone could have used that perfectly well to build a house, but noooo - use it to stone the lady." If there's any kind of heaven, I'm not going there. RE: 2 pÉÂÇÂɹɥʇ ʎʇıunɯɯoɆ- Grungie - 02-09-2014 Idk, that sounds like a strange thing to find. RE: 2 pÉÂÇÂɹɥʇ ʎʇıunɯɯoɆ- JCizzle - 02-09-2014 :haha::haha::haha::haha::haha: RE: 2 pÉÂÇÂɹɥʇ ʎʇıunɯɯoɆ- ln cognition - 02-09-2014 (02-09-2014, 10:00 PM)Grungie Wrote: Idk, that sounds like a strange thing to find.Well, if there isn't we should make it happen. There's a literal/graphic goldmine of potential. Judging by Vargs reaction, this is not just me being weird. Although we'll all get stuck in the valley of Gehenna for all eternity, of course. But that's a low price to pay for politically incorrect humour. RE: 2 pÉÂÇÂɹɥʇ ʎʇıunɯɯoɆ- Grungie - 02-09-2014 I'm actually completely ignorant of what goes on in the bible. RE: 2 pÉÂÇÂɹɥʇ ʎʇıunɯɯoɆ- carlcockatoo - 02-10-2014 It's good incognito is back. I think one of the biggest flaws of this site that some of the more active users me just complain about things, and incognito is the opposite of that. I am also, for the most part, ignorant to what goes on in the bible. RE: 2 pÉÂÇÂɹɥʇ ʎʇıunɯɯoɆ- JCizzle - 02-10-2014 Well, I'll try my best to summarize *cracks knuckles* > God exists 'cause of incontingency/being the uncaused cause > God creates err'thin' > God spends one day at rest, presumably to watch the game. I mean, I would. > God does NOT create the dinosaurs > A wild Adam appears! > A wild Adam gives rib to allow Eve to exist > God tells Adam and Eve not to eat a certain fruit > Babies are made > Serpentine creature tempts Eve into eating forbidden fruit > Eve (the woman, naturally) tempts Adam into committing literally the only sin in existence at the time, becoming the Pandora of her mythology > Fall of man > Shit starts going down fo' real > One of the babies kills another, gets a mark > Noah is commanded to build a giant ark > Takes two of all the animal species in the world (except for the unicorns, for some reason) and squeezes them onto said ark > The great deluge happens > Noah doesn't meet Gilgamesh on his voyage > Noah receives the Noahide laws and a rainbow is seen in the distance > Gentiles everywhere secretly rejoice, no longer afraid of losing their foreskins > Abraham is informed of a promised land > Abraham is told to sacrifice son Isaac > "lol nah, just kidding bro" - God > Literal and metaphorical lamb is offered as sacrifice instead > Jews exist now > Sodom and Gomorrah are destroyed > Moses finds burning bush > Aforementioned shrub speaks to Moses > "yo, I've got a favor to ask, man. Lead the Israelites out of Egypt and into Canaan. kthx" - God > "k" - Moses > Moses liberates Jews like a badass Egyptian Lincoln > The Ten Commandments are handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai after being there for 40 days > Moses destroys tablets with laws carved in in a fit of anger, commands genocide after discovering idolatrous behavior (even though, you know, the laws concerning idolatry weren't presented in writing to the Levites yet) > First historical case of the Nuremberg Defense > Moses goes back for another 40 days to get laws again, presumably mumbling in the process > Leviticus (that's the one that forbids fun things but also gross and hurtful things) > The people of Judea become desert nomads for 40 years > They finally arrive in the promised land > Deuteronomy > Torah is concluded, other things happen afterwards (approx. 10 centuries after the events of the Torah, or 4 centuries after the last book in the Tanakh) > A virgin is told she is pregnant after archangel tells her > Aware that she doesn't take illicit substances and is therefore not hallucinating, said virgin takes information for granted > Joseph is presumably baffled > Baby is born in a stable > Three wise men bring gifts that are of little to no necessity to said child > Mother Mary names child "Yeshua", later anglicized as "Jesus" > Approximately 30 years go by > Jesus is a rabbi now > Teaches ethical conduct to peeps > Secularists like king Herod get mad > He and His followers are persecuted > One of Jesus' apostles sells Him out to the Romans who pay him thirty pieces of silver > The king of kings gets executed, becomes the metaphorical (but not literal) lamb mentioned earlier > All of humanity is redeemed > Pontius Pilate feels guilty > Judas returns money to Romans, kills himself at least four times > Jesus resu resuc ressucitates does that thing I can't spell > Christians exist now (albeit as a Jewish sect) > Paul (ex-Christian-persecutor, post-crucifixion apostle, current saint) and Peter (first "pope") debate on whether cutting off foreskins is necessary to be a Christian > Paul wins debate, Gentiles/potential converts rejoice once more > Christianity becomes its own thing > Other things happen And that's basically the gist of it. I will legitimately feel bad if any of this constitutes as blasphemy (also, to note, is that I know the stories aren't exactly the way I tell them (also, dinosaurs were totally real, guys). In fact, Joseph might not have actually historically been in a relationship with Mary at all but rather merely a father figure to Christ, having taken a liking for Mary as a nun (who therefore was a virgin) in the convent they both worked in. Also, I'm an agnostic that is generally pro-Christian on many accounts and am baptized as a Catholic). |